He goes on to say that the relationship abruptly ended after she overheard him and his friends making jokes about her height. Paddy quickly causes ill feeling by burning Max's book on their campfire, but Max soon comes around and begins talking, accompanied by a flashback, about his one true love: a dwarf called Tina, whom he met in 1994. After Max shows a bemused Paddy his notebook filled with childlike drawings of a television programme he's invented called "Magnet and Steel", the pair reluctantly decide to sleep rough in the woods. To kill time, Max and Paddy catch the train to Middlewood, which actually turns out to be the last one that day, so the pair are forced to go for a walk in the woods, but quickly become lost. The pair hand it over to a local garage run by Mick Bustin, played by British rocker Noddy Holder. After discovering the girls, locally known as the 'Belgrano Sisters', are infamous for this, they get revenge by forcing them to steal some speakers for their television.Īfter a brush with a porn film shoot (a film called Willy Wanker and the Chocolate Factory - a gay porn parody of Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory) goes wrong for Paddy (initially believing he would naturally be working in a heterosexual porn film, he finds out otherwise), the campervan breaks down in the Midlands. Their new moves lure two local girls, Tracey and Louise, back to the campervan, only for one of them to steal Paddy's wallet. Paddy teaches him a few cool moves the following day, and they return to the club dressed as sailors in order to blend in. The pair thus decide to go out to a nightclub to let off some steam and forget their troubles, but Max's uncoordinated dancing spoils the night and he ends up fighting with some sailors home on shore leave. This leads to several arguments, especially when they realise the television doesn't have any speakers. In Dover, Max and Paddy buy a plasma television from an Irish crook called Gypsy Joe (played by Brendan O'Carroll). Kay and McGuinness themselves sang it in the opening sequences of episodes 2 to 6. Singer Tony Christie was to sing the show's theme, but his version was only used once, at the very end of the final episode. And we don't take shit from anyone, The only thing we wanna do is have some fun, It's Max and Paddy, Paddy and Max, And best of all we don't pay council tax". The lyrics are "Don't know where we're going, Got no way of knowing, Driving on the Road to Nowhere, Sponging for a living, Checkin' out the women, Riding on the Road to Nowhere. The theme song was written by Toni Baker and Peter Kay, and borrowed heavily from the theme to the 1970s American series B. A second series of the show was initially planned for 2006, but Peter Kay instead confirmed a third series of Phoenix Nights (which as of September 2014, has not yet happened) However, on Novemlive shows were announced for Comic Relief, with the full cast returning. He also calls people a clown or a melon if they've said something absurd. Paddy is a cheeky and likely lad obsessed with sex, pornography, food, and several strange but funny catchphrases such as, "Dink dank doo." Max often coldly stares at Paddy or anyone who has offended his tastes and often shouts "H-how dare you!". Max is the older and more sensible of the two, roughly 40 years old, and usually pretending to have more life experience than he has actually had, including a stint in the army. Peter Kay touched on this in the DVD commentary of Phoenix Nights, saying that he should have told the production company to buy a larger Motor Home than the Ford as he was going to use it in the spin off. However, the Motor Home they purchased in Phoenix Nights is a Ford, and the Motor Home they use in Max and Paddy's Road to Nowhere is actually a Fiat. When she discovered this, they hit the road in the van to escape the possible consequences.Īlthough this series was broadcast two years after Peter Kay's Phoenix Nights, the action seems to be set immediately afterwards. The key reason why they are on the open road is never mentioned in the series: however, they took £8,000 from a woman in the second series of Peter Kay's Phoenix Nights to kill her husband, but never properly went through with the job. This spin off from Peter Kay's Phoenix Nights follows the two Bolton doormen/bouncers Maxwell "Max" Bygraves (Kay) and Patrick "Paddy" O'Shea (McGuinness) as they wind their way around Britain in their campervan. It began on 12 November 2004 and ran for six 30 minute episodes up until 17 December 2004. ContentsĪll the episodes were also directed by Kay. Max and Paddy's Road to Nowhere is a British sitcom on Channel 4 starring and written by Peter Kay and Paddy McGuinness.
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